Saturday, March 24, 2012

When There is No Alternative




      I want to tell you that I am the biggest scaredy cat that ever lived when it comes to scary rides.  When I was a little girl my Dad kept baiting me all day asking if I wanted to ride the roller coaster.   Hell, I thought he was going to feed me roller coasters were some form of pasta made by Chef Boyardee.  I didn’t know!!  I was little!!  When you are a little kid pasta from a can is pure ambrosia.  Then you get older and figure out what good food really tastes like!!


      


       Finally the time came for me to ride the big rollercoaster at the state fair.  I was a little worried as the coaster made its climb to the top.  When I seen the steep drop I almost peed my pants!!  I screamed my fool head off from that moment on.  It scared the living be Je$u$ out of me.  I swore that I would never get on a roller coaster again.


       Before I married my husband we decided to go to Cedar Point.  I had never been to Cedar Point before and looked forward to it.  I discovered that Cedar Point had plenty of rides other than the roller coasters they were famous for.  Having a grand ole time I allowed my husband to be to lead me into another line.  I remember innocently asking what the ride was like that we were waiting for.  He told me it was a peaceful ride though a space age terrain where friendly aliens waved happily at you while you passed.  I had been to Disney World and honestly I had visions of the classic “It’s a Small World” ride.  I didn’t think a thing about the fact that the line we were waiting in was so long.  It never occurred to me to wonder about the teenagers eagerly waiting in line with us.  Even when we approached the ride itself and climbed in, I still had no clue what I was in for.




        All of a sudden the restraints came down across my chest locking me in.  The ride began its slow ascent upward into pitch blackness.  Finally reality started to dawn on me.  Panicked I looked at the love of my life and asked “This isn’t a rollercoaster is it??”  Before he could answer the car I was riding in plummeted quickly into the abyss.  I screamed and screamed.  The ride sped faster down and round finally coming to a stop.  I almost seen G0d and $hit my pants.


        When we were finally free of the roller coaster and in the sunshine I completely lost my mind.  “That was a roller coaster!!!  That was a roller coaster!!!”  I hit him in the stomach as hard as I could.  With him doubled over holding his gut I continued to rant, rave, and carry on.  He was in the worst kind of trouble!!  When it comes to rides I will never trust what my husband says about them again.  I will always be forever wary.  


        On the upside, for the rest of the day I got a lot more adventurous.   After all I had rode a roller coaster and lived to tell the tale, so maybe I could brave another scary ride!!  The folks at NaBloPoMo were interested about when it would be good to have no alternative.  If you ever want to get me on a scary ride, it is better to give me no other alternative because if I know about it you will never get me on it!!  The only downside is that something like that only works once on me because after that I know better until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.



16 comments:

  1. I never could understand why people like roller coasters. I hate them too and haven't been on one in years.

    Joyce
    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Joyce, I don't know. Some people just love having the $hit scared out of them and projectilevomiting!! Not I said the pig!! LOLOLOL You can sit on the bench and people watch with me!! Thanks for stopping by to read and for your comments!

      Delete
  2. I used to ride roller coasters when I was younger. Now, I'm a scaredy cat! If I go on one now, it cannot contain any loops. I prefer the old fashioned ones at the Boardwalk. :) That husband of yours!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Beachlover, the real shocker is I went ahead and married him regardless. LOLOLOLOL Thanks for stopping by to read and comment!!

      Delete
  3. " I almost seen G0d and $hit my pants." When I read that, I choked on my cocoa! Your blog should come with warnings. hahahaha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Darlene, I'm sorry you almost upchucked a lung, but I am so pleased you enjoyed my post!! Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments!

      Delete
  4. LOLOL! I agree! So funny!!!

    I live in a roller coaster riding, thrill seeking family. Our 8 yo rode his first loop when he was five or six. He's an addict. He even has roller coaster DVDs that he watches. I don't suppose you wanna babysit?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amy, I am game for babysitting and he can even watch his DVD's as long as I don't have to get on the roller coaster I am good to go. I am so pleased you enjoyed my post. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments!

      Delete
  5. I absolutely LOVE LOVITY LOVE Roller Coasters!! There hasn't been a coaster I haven't at least tried to ride. (I say that because I was in line to ride a coaster and they said it had broken down just before it was my turn to get on-- I never did ride that one--but not my own fault). I want to get one of those passes to Cedar point where it is just me, my friend and the coasters (no lines) for a whole day-- that would be a thrill of a lifetime!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jenn, that doesn't surprise me about you!! LOL I can picture you having the time of your life on a roller coaster!! I really can! Thanks for stopping in to read and for your comments!!

      Delete
  6. I'm with Jenn - I love them too! I'll ride all day until I'm so ill I have to stagger out of the park.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Elizabeth, LOL that is funny!! At least no one has to complain that you and Jenn don't get your money's work at theme parks! Thanks for stopping in to read and for your comments!

      Delete
  7. I'm certainly not a roller coaster rider at all!!! And, I don't like long lines either. So thankful our two daughters had each other to do those rides with so I could just stand back and take pictures. There are lots of other things I enjoy doing -- sightseeing, zoos, exhibits at Fairs, etc.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Betty, I am with you!! I would be back taking pictures!! I love doing all those sightseeing things like you do. Thanks for stopping in to read and for your comments.

      Delete
  8. Used to love roller coasters. However, last couple times I tried I got really nauseated. Sadly, I think something's changed in my inner ears with age and they just don't work for me anymore.

    But see, you got a great story out of it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Beverly, our bodies do change as they age. Stuff we used to love just doesn't rub us the same way later in life. I am so pleased you enjoyed my story! Thanks for stopping by to read and for your comments!

      Delete