Wednesday, April 18, 2012

P is for Passions: A Part of Me


  
    
        When I was little I was passionate about being an artist.  It is all I ever thought about.  I filled my spare time drawing, and when I could begin studying art in high school, I took as many art classes as I could.  I had this passionate need to create inside me that just begged to come out.  I was fascinated with the human form and based my advanced placement portfolio on that thesis. 


      For a while I lived, breathed, and created art daily.  In my early 20’s, I decided to pursue a degree in graphic design.  I worked 40 hours or more a week, and studied and perfected my art at night.  Art became my life.  There came a time after my mom got sick that the constant pressures of perfection worked me to frazzle.  Once she died the fire that burned so brightly for my art died with her.  Countless job interviews that led to rejections killed my passion for art.  I lost my drive and changed direction, feeling deep inside my work was not good enough and I could not face the day to day pressure to create something remarkable.




        When my mom died my passions shifted.  I had taught myself to read music and play the piano and at that point, it became my passion to perfect my music.  I would return home after work nightly to a silent lonely house.  My depression threatened to overtake me, and my loneliness at the time was stifling.  Again I withdrew within myself and focused my passion into creating music on the piano.  I would eat little, and then set at the piano for hours playing every piece of music in the house.  I challenged myself to play classical pieces to perfection. 


       After a while I decided to approach the organist at the church I was attending and ask her if she could help me perfect my skills.  At my first lesson I sat at the grand piano in the church and played Johann Sebastian Bach’s “Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring” with much feeling.  The piano teacher was astonished at the time, and thought it quite remarkable that I had never had a formal lesson in my life.  She taught me how to use all of my fingers when I played and incorporate the foot pedal.  My passion for the music didn’t need to be taught, I already had it.  I could feel it, and it flowed through my veins.  We worked through the classics with her assigning me a different piece each week.  I would rush home and play the piece over and over until I had it perfected.  Playing music fed my soul, much as my art once did.  Somewhere along the way I lost my passion for playing.  I still love music, but no longer play.  If I still had a piano, I might still, but I don’t so those melodious days are behind me.


        At this stage in my life, what am I passionate about now??  My daughter told me I was passionate about my writing.  After thinking about it, I think she may be right.  The creative juices that have run through my veins all my life have manifested here on my blog.  Instead of painting and music, I write and create. The creativity flows still keeping the passion in me alive until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.


What passion burns in you??




19 comments:

  1. Oh Kathy I am so envious of your piano playing! I'd love to be able to do that. I agree that creative juices flow and lead to many directions different areas in our lives. I Love to write, I Love to read, I Love to remake and repurpose things and I Love to see a pile of stuff and make it into something I can either use or just admire.

    Creativity changes I think with age and also with what your lifestyle allows you to pursue. Time is a factor, money is a factor and need is a factor. But creativity and passion go hand in hand for me and apparently you, too.
    Really like this post a lot! ☻

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    1. Jo, I am so pleased you enjoyed my post and how my passion for creativity evolved over the years. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments!! ♥

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  2. When I had children, it was the first time I wasn't doing anything creative. Not writing. ANd I too had always been drawing. So I turned back to the drawing. BUt it didn't last, and that's when I took up weaving which I still do. But now I"m back to wriiting. And through all of that I realized that I do have that passion to create. That to stay alive and in good mental health, I need to be pursuing some kind of creative passion, whatever that might be in the moment.

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    1. Sandra, I know exactly how you feel. A person is more fulfilled when they can quench that creative thirst. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments!!

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  3. Writing is a form of painting, painting with words! Keep your passions alive, they are the heart of you expressed outwardly.

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    1. November Rain, you express yourself so eloquently. WOW. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments!!

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  4. I've had quite a few different passions in my life, but the one constant passion has been writing.

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    1. Paula, you are a very gifted writer and I am honored to know you. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comment.

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  5. Art, Music, Writing. Such incredible creative passions to have. With the joy so many of us get from your writing, I can only imagine that your art and music provided that for many around you during those times as well. The most imortant part of it though is that they fed your soul and continue to do so. I believe that those passions, those gifts that we have don't ever go away, they just go dormant until we bring them forward again if needed or we choose to. I'm so pleased to be a recipient of the passin you have for writing right now and your willingness to share it.

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  6. You are such a great writer and I'm so glad I found your blog, now that I am a fledgling 'trucker's wife' (girlfriend really). That's amazing that you taught yourself how to read music and play piano!! Very cool!

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    1. JoJo, it took me a long time to get it accomplished. I worked on it for years!! I started learning to read music in about 7th grade music class and always sang in the choirs all through school. I just made up my mind I was going to do it. My mom died when I was 24, and by then I was able to play just about anything I wanted to. I didn't really like to listen to classical music, but I sure liked to play it. It was challenging and moving. I am so pleased you enjoy my writing and enjoy my blog!! Being a trucker's wife or even a girl friend is a tough life. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments. ♥

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  7. It's amazing that you have had these abilities. I guess in some ways I'm like you. I would start to achieve a certain level in some endeavor and then drop off. I guess writing is the most consistent passion that has stuck with me from childhood on. Blogging has been a huge help in having a creative outlet.

    Thanks for the visit and the follow on Wrote By Rote
    Following you back.

    Lee
    A Faraway View
    An A to Z Co-host blog

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    1. Lee, I think as my life progressed circumstances changed. I still had all this creativity bursting to come out, it just manifested in different forms over the years. Thank you for stopping by to read, your kind comments, and for following!!

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  8. Once you had a passion, I bet you could get it back. Why not pick up a paintbrush? Graphic novels are huge these days.

    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com/

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    1. Joyce, one of these days... I just might. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments!!

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  9. I knew how to read music early on--but never had piano lessons. I also was in my mid-twenties when I learned how to play but I can no where near play the classics. Maybe something from the Wizard of Oz (I find all the music from that movie "fun" to play). I taught myself on an electric keyboard--but it was only half the size of a real piano.

    My passion lies somewhere between writing and photography these days. I love both--and depends on what frame of mind I am in to determine which way the creative juices flow.

    Lovely post!

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    1. Jenn, for me the fun music was the classics and wedding music. I also loved to play all the music from the movies "Mary Poppins" and "The Sound of Music". I loved playing popular ballads like "Breathe" and "My Heart Will Go On" too. I no longer have a piano at my disposal or I am sure I would still play. So I write, like you. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments!!

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  10. My passion, aside from my kids and the "Rainman" is creating. I love to create, whether in word, at the sewing machine, in the kitchen, around the house. I must be in a constant state of creativity otherwise I can just feel my soul get sad, like I'm letting it down, thus, my mind rarely if ever shuts off.. Currently my obsessive passion is mentally decorating our new home once we move. Crazy I know but I can't stop and I cannot wait to move!

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    1. Magical Mystical Mimi, we certainly share the love of creativity. You will have so much fun actually decorating your new house, and by the time you get around to it you will have it all planned exactly how you are going to do it in your mind. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments. ♥

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