Thursday, May 10, 2012

Kid’s Feelings When they Lose


      When I was a kid I felt like the end of the world had come when I lost a game.  Didn’t matter if it was a game of Monopoly or UNO, if I lost I could feel my cheeks heat up, my throat choke up, and my eyes sting with tears.  I wanted to cry.  I was pi$$ed and wanted to shout the cruelty of life to the masses.


       At the time, I couldn’t celebrate the fact that my Dad took the time to play with me when he came home.  All I could focus on was the fact that I lost and somehow I had failed.  I had come up short…again.  The frustration would overwhelm me and I would demand of G0d “Why couldn’t I be the one winning, why not me?”   Losing absolutely sucked!  I often wondered if that is why my sister always told me my Dad loved her and not me.  She took great joy in rubbing that piece of information in my face any chance she got.  I was unworthy.  Losing a game only seemed to underline that fact.  I felt like everyone was looking at me and either feeling sorry for me or laughing at me.





        I have a very vivid memory of playing Monopoly at the kitchen table with my parents.  Mom would bring out the air popcorn popper and we would snack on hot freshly popped popcorn drizzled with butter.  My Dad always was the banker.  It didn’t matter what set I started; before all was said and done everything was mortgaged to the hilt.  At that point, the dice would roll, and my turn would take me to one of my Dad’s hotels.  I could have a couple hundred dollars sitting in front of me and I would grab my large stack of one dollar bills and begin counting those babies as if they held the answer.  It used to crack my Dad up to see me going for my ones first.


        My Dad was the grand pooh-bah of game playing.  He was competitive and played to win always.  He even made up his own intricate card game that he and his friends gathered together and played often.  He taught me that game and we played it often.  He would often stop by my house in the evenings to play cards and share supper.  We would play everything from his game to Skip-Bo.  It was really mind blowing after he had a stroke and struggled to play the simplest children’s game with my daughter who was only 3 at the time.


     Fortunately I grew up.  Like my Dad before me, I have carried a deep love of playing games all through my life.  By the time I was older I discovered the joy of playing simply for the sake of it.  It no longer matters if I win or lose, it only matters now that I play and have fun doing it.  I love playing games with my kids, and while my oldest loves the thrill of playing like I now do, my son struggles with losing much as I did when I was a kid.  Even though I once agonized about why it wasn’t me who could win, now I am just as happy to play again and give winning another go until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.
    

8 comments:

  1. love how metaphorical your description really is about the actually playing of monopoly, how your dad was always the banker and the way you counted the bills. Very "telling" , poignant details.

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    1. Sandra, I am so pleased you stopped by to read and enjoyed my post. Thank you for your kind comments! ♥

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  2. Wow. Just....wow. I had the same monopoly experience. My dad was a sweet, kind, loving man, but when he played monopoly w/ me, he was ruthless. Every game would end with him leaning over the board, helping himself to my properties b/c I'd landed on another hotel and had no money left, just the purple and red properties I bought b/c they were pretty. He owned the railroads and utilities. He would cackle when I'd get sent to jail. I was 8 years old and utterly crushed under his boot, crying and storming off to my room w/ my mom scolding, "Johnnie! she's just a child! She doesn't understand how this game is played!"

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    1. JoJo, isn't that nuts? LOL It is like the game Monopoly changes people and brings out the competitiveness in them. I remember those days. Just glad I got to the point I could enjoy the game no matter what. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your kind comments!! ♥

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  3. My cousins and I used to play Monopoly. We'd all finish up our dinner chores and sit down to play--and we wouldn't quit until one of us won--no matter how tired we got. One time the game lasted until 08:30 the next morning. I came in 2nd place that time--one of the funnest rounds of Monopoly ever. I was always very competitive--but I knew the law of averages told me I'd win some and lose some--even before I knew what that concept meant. I played to win--but if I didn't win--it was okay too.

    Conversely, I have two very competitive sons and they do NOT like to lose. It really really eats at them when they lose. I'm not sure how else they can come to accept that win some lose some theory other than to win a few rounds of Monopoly or whatever game we are playing. Still doesn't seem to get easier. LOL.

    You presented a great post though-very honest and very telling. (As you can see, I could well relate!!) One day we'll have to have a monopoly game while we swap kid stories :)

    Cheers, Jenn

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    1. Jenn, you are on!! That would be so much fun and you would probably beat the pants of me. :D Thank you for stopping by and for your comments. I am so pleased you enjoyed my post. ♥

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  4. We have family game night every week, and my six-year-old has a serious problem with losing. She always has. She gets so upset (sometimes) and nothing we seem to say makes any difference. I'm hoping she'll get better as she grows up.

    I remember play Monopoly with my parents, too. Dad and I are very competitive, and Mom is easygoing. Needless to say, the two of us were usually at war. And my husband and I can't play Monopoly without having at least one major argument. He gets cocky and I just want to smack him, lol.

    Great post!

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    1. Stacy, there is just something about Monopoly!! Hopefully as your six year old gets older she or he will get over losing and realize the fun is playing the game and the process. Thank you for stopping by to read and for your comments!! ♥

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